Procrastination - to put off intentionally and habitually, to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done.
The act of self-sabotage is one I'm quite familiar with, also of rationalization and justification. I can't write a blog entry at work because they can track everything that enters that computer and what if somebody read it (ha, ha - isn't that the literal point???) and I certainly can't write at home with a toddler running around. How can anyone think in that environment, much less come up with a coherent thought process? Never mind that my husband has found a way that works for him, or that I might be able to do it if I got my butt out of bed early enough. Never mind the possibility that I might dare to have a dream and then take it even a step further to not just work towards that dream but see it come to fruition. Why should I be happy and fulfilled? It's so much easier to be bitter and resentful!
Well, self-sabotage be damned. I am tired of being bitter and unhappy and watching how it affects my daughter and my marriage and my lack of friends. Baby steps, all I need to take are baby steps because god knows anything I set my mind to do will only result in more procrastination and explosive doubts and insecurities.
Ha! Nice to meetcha!
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