Everybody deserves a cheerleader at some point.



I keep delaying on adding to this blog for various reasons. One of them is that my words frequently seem to come out wrong and I’m extremely uncomfortable with the idea that I might be misunderstood. It’s ridiculous to think everyone will see my point of view or think I am right but I still want this to happen. Growing up there were a few key phrases I heard repeatedly – “think before you speak” – was one of the mainstays. “Buck up” was another treasure that I’m sure I’ll get to at some point.


Whether it’s because I’ve said something I didn’t mean or meant something I shouldn’t have said, I’ve been trained to be hyper aware of what comes out of my mouth. If only it were that simple. If only I had an internal watchdog that could shut my mouth for me when something hurtful was about to fly out but alas, I have precious little impulse control. Or the opposite occurs and I just clam up and don’t say a word at all. I’m sure many people have wondered if I’m able to speak in coherent sentences. I’d rather just not deal with it than have to apologize or over-analyze whether or not I’ve just unintentionally offended someone. Again.


The other day, my boss, who was supposed to be taking the day off, kept emailing me requests and action items and I finally wrote back reminding her she took the day off and to stop working. She deferred citing the usual – demanding clients and after expressing sympathy, I felt she needed a boost and so complimented her on her stellar customer services skills. After I sent the email, I felt a warm brown gooey substance descend on my nose and a pit form in my belly and when she wrote back again, I answered her question and ended with “everybody deserves a cheerleader now and again”. I meant it but it also helped me regain some dignity. I’m an excellent manipulator but a terrible kiss-ass.